Matters Of Dè Heart

  CONFUSION IN COURTSHIP: TO CONTINUE OR TO QUIT? Every God ordained courtship will face challenges enough to make you quit! The devil knows once you marry right, he is in soup so he will do everything in his power to break your focus and marry someone else! Are you confused in your courtship? Why do you want to call it quits? Because of any of the following reasons? 1. BOTH OF YOU ARE AS Some singles are 100 percent sure they heard God till they did genotype test and discover they are both AS and get confused. A lot end the relationship! If you are really sure you heard God not your head, tell God to change your genotype to AA or have the faith none of your kids will be SS. I see godly, faith filled AS couples have healthy children all the time. Some have their genotypes changed to AA by God before their wedding date. Some never have SS children. If you are very fearful and lack faith, then you didn't hear God, end the relationship! 2. NO PARENTAL CONSENT The devil can use anybody...

 * WHY A HUSBAND AND WIFE OUGHT TO PRAY TOGETHER.* 1. It makes them walk in agreement 2. They grow spiritually individually and as a couple 3. It keeps them both submitted and accountable to God 4. It keeps the schemes of the devil away. The devil only brings strife, suspicion, division, and ways of the flesh when the couple are lazy in prayer 5. The wrongs they do to each other get revealed leading to correction. 6. Prayer changes people for the better than changed people end up changing the situations. 7. Together they send the angels meant to minister to them into action 8. Together they destroy generational curses and stop the spiritual consequences of wrongdoing by seeking God's mercy 9. They both get to live peaceful lives. Their tempers get contained. 10. Problem-solving becomes easier, they find solutions quicker 11. God gets to speak to them as a couple 12. God enters their home through them 13. They get to identify threats coming to destroy their marriage and neutralize t...

 * REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT COMPARE YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR EX!* There is an old saying that goes “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This phrase has been around for decades and for good reason.  The moment you start comparing your partner to another relationship is the moment you choose to be unhappy. I have met many persons saying,  “I wish my husband was like my ex.  He was so much more affectionate!” “If my wife were like _ I would never feel bored in bed.” If these sentiments sound familiar, your relationship may be on the fast track to disaster! Your spouse is not your ex and they’re not your friend’s husband or wife. They are unique, with their own set of experiences and beliefs. Stop comparing your spouse to someone else and start looking at their positive qualities and loving them for who they are. _Here are 6 reasons why the urge to compare will be your downfall ._ 1) * It isn’t fair* Think of your two favourite foods. Maybe you like pizza and you also love ro...

 * WHEN THINGS ARE SMOOTH WITH YOU EVERYONE CAN CLAIM TO SAY THEY LOVE YOU!* Hence, it's vital to subject every love to test to determine their authenticity. * HOW DO YOU TEST LOVE? * 1. Subject it to the test of sacrifice. Sacrifice is the ultimate test of love.  Sacrifice means to deny yourself of something, to let go of something valuable.  How much is the person willing to sacrifice for you?  Can he or she deny himself or herself of something valuable for your sake?  When you are not able to provide for her financially as a result of being broke, will the love still be there? When you lose your job, will she still be there for you?  When you are down in health, will the love still be there? THE TEST OF LOVE:  *[test of sacrifice]* When he asks you for sex and you decline because you believe in no sex till marriage, will he still continue with you?  When you find yourself in a very difficult situation, can he or she be there for you uncondition...

 * RULES FOR COUPLES FOR BEING MAD/ANGRY AT EACH OTHER* 1. Be mad at me, but don't insult me. Anger is not a ticket to speak carelessly 2. Be mad at me, but tell me why you are mad. Don't assume I know 3. Be mad at me, but don't broadcast it to others. Cover me 4. Be mad at me, but don't forget the many good things about me. Be objective and fair 5. Be mad at me, but also remember the many other times I have forgiven you 6. Be mad at me, but don't give me silent treatment. Keep the communication lines open 7. Be mad at me, but don't use it as an excuse to cheat on me 8. Be mad at me, but don't hurt me to even the score. Love doesn't revenge 9. Be mad at me, but don't stay mad for long. Let's sort this out quickly  10. Be mad at me, but don't stop praying for me. I still need your prayers 11. Be mad at me, but don't threaten to quit what we have. Ending it is not the solution 12. Be mad at me, but don't punish me using sex. Let's k...

 *TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS. A toxic relationship do not only depicts when the man is beating his woman or when the woman is being violent with her man. A relationship is said to be toxic when it doesn't go in line with the way of the Lord. Dear sisters, that brother you are presently in a relationship with has obviously been disturbing to get down with you severally, staying in such a relationship is TOXIC be wise to let go without thinking twice! Some brothers find themselves being in a relationship with a sister who can't control her anger and herself whenever they have a misunderstanding and the next thing you could do is still managing the relationship thinking she will change after marriage,kai🔥 what a great error you have committed. Listen, never make a mistake of keeping the mentality of "he or she will change when we marry". Many brothers and sisters has fallen into this deception. No one changes after marriage, it is what you deal with during courtship that will ...

Topic: "[8 essential INGREDIENTS for a SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE] When we walk down that aisle and recite our wedding vows, we’re not just agreeing to love, honor, and cherish. We’re promising that, no matter what the years ahead may bring, we’ll walk through this big, scary world together as partners — hand in hand, side by side.* Even when life gets hard; when the dishes are piled high in the sink, and we’re drowning in bills, and the kids are driving us nuts; we are in this together, bonded by love. Those who enter into the sacrament of marriage don’t just create a bond with each other, but with God. Now let's take a look at 8 important ingredients that will help your relationship/marriage stand the test of time. 1. Love/Commitment . At its core, love is a decision to be committed to another person. It is far more than a fleeting emotion as portrayed on television, the big screen, and in romance novels. Feelings come and go, but a true decision to be committed lasts forever – and...

TOPIC: HOW TO FIND THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE 7 BIBLE REF: Matthew 4:18-22, 26:36-46 Why Relationships Matter Have you ever considered that Jesus had best friends? Shortly after His earthly ministry began, Jesus called 12 men—three of whom would become His closest inner circle. While these men started as acquaintances, they became incredible friends as a result of consistently doing things together—eating together, praying together, traveling together, and serving others together.  And it wasn’t just a one-sided friendship either. On the hardest night of Jesus’ life, He shares how He’s feeling with His closest friends, and He asks them to stay with Him and pray.  Now, these friends didn’t get everything right. They couldn’t even stay awake to keep praying with Jesus. But they were there. They showed up. We can’t expect our friends to be perfect or to support us in ways only Jesus can. But we all need people to support us in the middle of our toughest moments....

TOPIC: HOW TO FIND THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE 5 BIBLE REF: Luke 15:11-32, Ephesians 1:5  Family Relationships Family relationships can bring up a lot of emotions. Whether you have a great relationship with your family or whether you have strained relationships with them, every family will experience conflict at some point, and that’s okay!   We see all sorts of dysfunctional families in Scripture. Joseph’s brothers sold him into slavery. Cain killed his brother Abel. King David’s son, Absalom, tries to overthrow his dad—just to name a few examples that can help put your family drama into perspective.  In Luke 15, Jesus tells a parable about another family—a father and his two sons. He describes how the younger son demands his inheritance and runs off to live a rebellious life, leaving his family behind. After spending all his money, the son retreats home in hopes of begging his father to hire him as a servant. When his father sees him from far off, ...

TOPIC: HOW TO FIND THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE 3 BIBLE REF: 1Timothy 4:12, Proverbs 18:17, Romans 12:4-5, Matthew 22:37-39 Intergenerational Friendships Most of us are surrounded by our peers through our mid-20s. We go to school, participate in extracurricular activities, and have friends in our age group. Then we start our careers, and we’re suddenly thrown into an environment surrounded by people older—and sometimes younger—than us. When we enter this new season of life, we have one of two options: We can either embrace the opportunity these new relationships bring, or we can retreat to our comfort zone with our peers. While it may be uncomfortable, it’s almost always better to choose to embrace these intergenerational relationships. Why? *Because we have both the opportunity to learn and the opportunity to share.* Take some time to evaluate any personal biases and stereotypes that you may have regarding other generations. Then, replace them with truth. For example, ...

TOPIC: * HOW TO FIND THE RELATIONSHIPS THAT YOU NEED IN YOUR LIFE 1 * BIBLE REF: Genesis 2:18, Galatians 6:2, Exodus 18:14-15, Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 * An Important Invitation * _ Friendships. _ We all know we need them, but if we’re honest, they can be really difficult. We all have this image of having the perfect friendships like you’d see on a sitcom, and we’ve all experienced FOMO when you see a group of friends hanging out in the perfect Instagram photo while you’re sitting alone eating ice cream in your pajamas at 8:30pm. But as difficult as it can be to find friends, it’s important to fight for relationships. We have to push through the fear of what might go wrong and let go of previous hurts that make it difficult for us to be vulnerable. To make it even harder, many of us live in cultures where independence is celebrated. While there’s nothing wrong with being independent, * we’re also created to depend on God and others. And when we don’t, we can end up feeling lonely, i...

 •Sex Before Marriage Is not Joy. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Fun. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Gain. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Love. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Trust. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Truth. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Light. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Right. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Peace. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Biblical. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Honour. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Mistake. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Promise. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Respect. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Progress. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Pleasure. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Salvation. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Scriptural. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Obedience. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Happiness. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Enjoyment. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Excitement. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Satisfaction. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Competition. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Understanding. •Sex Before Marriage Is not Godly Covenant. •Sex Before Marriag...

*Will Marriage Solve All Your Problems?* God created love and has placed the desire to be loved unconditionally in each of our hearts . Marriage is a natural overflow of that desire.  Yet within this scared and natural pursuit of marriage. It's easy to fall into the lie that finding a spouse will be the ultimate road to happiness and great satisfaction. That all problems , fears , and deficit will fade away in the presence of true love . it's isn't true in the world of marriage. No perfect marriage , relying on your partner to fulfill your insatiable needs is a recipe for disaster because no human being has the capacity to offer you what is needed for true value and self worth. *Don't marry for the following reasons or you will blame yourself.* ✓ Don't marry because for sex you won't be satisfied, if you have high sexual it's better to go for therapy than to think Marriage is the solution. ✓ Don't marry because everyone is getting married, marry be...

TOPIC:  * WHEN MARRIAGE GETS HARD 3 * BIBLE REF: Psalms 51:10, 2Corinthians 10:5, James 1:19 _ If it is not a habit of building each other up in your marriage and you want to make that transition in your relationship, the best place to start is in prayer. _   * As you pray for your marriage and ask for God's blessings in your marriage, you will find your spirit soften to your spouse. Asking God to create in you a pure heart like David did in the Psalms, along with a steadfast spirit, will give you the foundation to begin seeing your spouse through God's eyes of love, grace and kindness. * Meditate on the good things God has done in your spouse's life and as you do, your prayers will begin to be directed toward those things. As a result, God will work in your marriage to bring about more good things in that way. Cast down any thought of negativity before Satan has an opportunity to create a stronghold and division in your mind with it (2 Corinthians 10:5). _ You can begin by...

TOPIC:  * WHEN MARRIAGE GETS HARD 2 * BIBLE REF: Proverbs 25:24, 27:15 _ Rather than focusing on the faults of your spouse, focus on what he or she does well. Let your words reflect an awareness of their strengths, gifts and contributions to your relationship and home. _ * You’ll be amazed at how your spouse will seek to do even more positive things in your presence when you point out the good, and not the bad. Affirmation goes a long way toward creating an atmosphere of acceptance and mutual affection. * And if giving the benefit of the doubt isn’t the way you naturally roll, you may want to consider how many faults you’ve brought to the table as well.  * Showing grace to each other in your marriage relationship rests on the foundational truth that marriage is comprised of two imperfect people seeking to live in harmony and grace. Faults abound, yes. In everyone. But they do not need to dominate your thoughts, conversations or influence your actions. *  If the fault is a...

TOPIC: * WHEN MARRIAGE GETS HARD 1 * BIBLE REF: Proverbs 19:11 _ A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Proverbs 19:11 _ An elderly grandmother went to lunch with her granddaughter who was about to get married. The granddaughter had always admired her grandparents’ marriage. She wanted to remain married for over fifty years just like they did. Thus, she took this opportunity to glean some wisdom from her grandma about how to keep a marriage strong. * “Grandma,” she asked. “What did you do in order to have such a long and satisfying marriage?” * _ “Oh it’s simple,” her grandma replied without hesitation. “When I got married I decided to list ten of your granddad’s faults which, for the sake of our marriage, I would choose to overlook.” _ * “You did?” the soon-to-be-bride asked. * “What are some of them?” she continued, looking for an example to help her choose herself. “I don’t know,” her grandma responded. “I actually never did list them...

TOPIC: 10 CHOICES SUCCESSFUL COUPLES MAKE 6 BIBLE REF: John 8:32, 1John 1:8, 3:18  Choose to Challenge Unspoken Truths  Some of the most insidious and destructive elements of a marriage are the assumptions spouses make about each other. Assumptions are sometimes based on previous experiences that have been interpreted and at other times are based on minimal factual information. They are beliefs that have been adopted that later become a part of the reality of the relationship. The problem with assumptions is that they become what I call “ unspoken truths.”These are assumptions, which may or may not be true, that are accepted as truth in a marriage. Once accepted, partners give up trying to change these beliefs. These “unspoken truths” form the basis for how spouses act toward each other and drive much of what happens in the relationship. *Once spouses begin to accept these beliefs as givens in the relationship, they become the building blocks for their understanding of each ot...

TOPIC: 10 CHOICES SUCCESSFUL COUPLES MAKE 4 BIBLE REF: Matthew 18:21-22, Ephesians 4:22, Colossians 3:13 Choose to Forgive Because of the necessity to forgive one another in any relationship we have, we are going to spell out what forgiveness looks like. There are four steps that couples need to learn in order to forgive. They are essential elements in the developmental process of forgiveness. An authentic apology is the first step in the process of forgiveness and involves trying to understand why you offended the other person.* It also involves making a real effort to prevent it from happening again. Making a sincere apology is an ongoing process that requires commitment and follow-through. But I caution you from apologizing when you don’t mean it*. Apologize only when you mean it—when you believe that what you did was wrong and you want to put in the work to prevent doing it again. Second, the process of forgiveness involves repentance. You have to show your partner that you are tru...

TOPIC: * 10 CHOICES SUCCESSFUL COUPLES MAKE 1 * BIBLE REF: Isaiah 43:19,25, Romans 12:16-21 * Marriage Is About Choice * _ The big idea behind the transformation of your marriage is that you can make choices in key areas to heal it. _ You are in control of the conflicts that occur in your relationship. Conflict, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. What is important is how we deal with it. Conflicts will happen, but fights don’t have to. You can make different choices. * The first major choice both of you must make is to stop doing what has not worked in your relationship so far. * Before you say this is oversimplifying marriage, think about it. Isn’t stopping what you’re doing wrong the exact place where you have to start? * You have to learn what doesn’t work in your relationship and make a clear choice not to do that anymore * . That is the one and only way you can make space to try new ways of handling problems. * The second choice to make is deciding if you are willing to w...

TOPIC: 10 CHOICES SUCCESSFUL COUPLES MAKE 1 BIBLE REF: Isaiah 43:19,25, Romans 12:16-21 Marriage Is About Choice The big idea behind the transformation of your marriage is that you can make choices in key areas to heal it._ You are in control of the conflicts that occur in your relationship. Conflict, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. What is important is how we deal with it. Conflicts will happen, but fights don’t have to. You can make different choices . The first major choice both of you must make is to stop doing what has not worked in your relationship so far. Before you say this is oversimplifying marriage, think about it. Isn’t stopping what you’re doing wrong the exact place where you have to start? You have to learn what doesn’t work in your relationship and make a clear choice not to do that anymore . That is the one and only way you can make space to try new ways of handling problems.  The second choice to make is deciding if you are willing to work together as teamm...