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Dating & Marriage Issues: Reasons Why You NEVER Compare Your Spouse with Your EX

 *REASON WHY YOU SHOULD NOT COMPARE YOUR SPOUSE WITH YOUR EX!*


There is an old saying that goes “Comparison is the thief of joy.” This phrase has been around for decades and for good reason. 


The moment you start comparing your partner to another relationship is the moment you choose to be unhappy.


I have met many persons saying, 

“I wish my husband was like my ex. 


He was so much more affectionate!”


“If my wife were like _ I would never feel bored in bed.”


If these sentiments sound familiar, your relationship may be on the fast track to disaster!


Your spouse is not your ex and they’re not your friend’s husband or wife. They are unique, with their own set of experiences and beliefs.


Stop comparing your spouse to someone else and start looking at their positive qualities and loving them for who they are.


_Here are 6 reasons why the urge to compare will be your downfall._


1) *It isn’t fair*

Think of your two favourite foods. Maybe you like pizza and you also love roasted broccoli.

Broccoli and pizza are two very different food groups, yet you love them both.

The same can be said for your current partner. They may not have the same qualities as your last partner did, but that doesn’t mean you should love them any less. They’re both great in different ways!

Comparing your partner to someone else isn’t fair.

You shouldn’t get serious with someone if your only intention is to change them.


2) *It will make you feel bitter*

Here’s a solid piece of relationship advice for couples: if all you can think about is how your ex did X, Y, and Z for you and you wish your new spouse was like that, you have a serious problem!

You and your ex aren’t together for a reason. As the old saying goes, “It’s called a breakup because it’s broken.”

Wishing for your spouse to be like an ex (or like a partner from someone else’s relationship) will make you feel bitter toward the love your partner shows. In the end, you’ll only be left feeling unhappy.

You’ll start to resent your spouse for who they aren’t instead of loving them for who they are, which is seriously dangerous territory to be in.


3) *It sets unrealistic expectations*

Under the right circumstances, it can be easy to get caught up in the past and start comparing your spouse to someone you loved before but be warned that doing so may signal the end of your happy relationship.

The moment your start comparing your relationship to your friend’s marriage or ex is the same moment you choose to be unhappy. Why? Because it sets unrealistic expectations from your partner.

We all wish we could take the best parts from every relationship we’ve ever been in and mould them into the perfect partner, but that’s Frankenstein science! These unrealistic expectations will only end up making you both miserable, so it’s best to avoid them altogether.


4) *It makes your spouse feel worthless*

Can you imagine the marriage therapy you would need if your spouse came to you and said, “I wish you were more like my ex.? They were more adventurous in the bedroom” or “My friend’s boyfriend/girlfriend seems so much more loving than you do. Can’t you be more like them?”

Odds are you would feel worthless and unappreciated by your spouse, and that’s exactly how your partner will feel when you start comparing them to others.

Even if your spouse started to take qualities of someone else, it wouldn’t be a replica of your experience because no two relationships are the same. You can’t expect the love from your new partner to feel like someone else’s, because each relationship is its own unique experience.


5) *You’re missing out on the good*

The more you choose to look at the downfalls of your spouse, the more miserable you will be in your relationship.

Instead of focusing on what you wish you would change in your relationship, look at your partner’s appealing qualities. They may not be as affectionate as your former partner, but what do they do that drives you wild? What you will NOT ACCEPT, Never try such on your partner, think deeply before ACTING!


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