10 Relationship Tips Couples Often Forget!
Once a couple of
people have settled into a relationship, things can fall into a bit of a rut.
Routines form, the attentiveness that was present at the beginning of the
courtship might be replaced by content complacency, and ultimately tensions
arise. These simple tips may seem like common sense, but you may be surprised
at how often people forget about their importance.
Communication is Vital
Very few of us are
able to read one another’s minds, so it’s important to express things that
weigh on us, whether they’re positive or negative. Little behaviors that bother
us can become more irksome over time, so it’s good to address them early,
before the irritation accumulates to the point of anger. Similarly, miscommunications
can lead to some pretty ugly arguments, so if you’re uncertain about something,
try to discuss it calmly so you can sort things out: you may have misheard or
misread something your partner said/did and taken it totally out of context, so
clarify before freaking out about anything. Even though we may feel that we
know our partners well after being with them for several years, remember that
we all grow and change over time, and methods of communication must change
along with us as needed.
Never Take Each Other for Granted
Be aware of every
wonderful thing that your partner does for you, and express your gratitude
whenever possible. This might be as simple as thanking them for doing the
dishes after you’ve eaten dinner, or telling them how much it means to you that
they make your coffee/tea exactly the way you like it. They’ll feel appreciated
for the love and kindness they show you, and will express their appreciation to
you in turn, so no one ever feels like their actions aren’t being acknowledged.
Respect Each Other’s Alone Time
Togetherness is
important, but just as important (if not more so) is the ability to spend time
alone. Too much time spent together can make you irritable, especially if you
feel like your personal space is always being invaded. Time alone is necessary
for personal reflection, growth, meditation, or even just quiet contemplation.
Remember that absence makes the heart grow fonder, and you’ll appreciate your
partner a lot more after having some space away from them. If you live together,
it might be a good idea to have personal spaces that you can retreat to: either
individual offices, or a garage workshop for one person and an attic library
for another, etc.
Don’t “Let Yourself Go”
It’s inevitable that
once certain comfort levels have been reached and closeness wins out over early
awkwardness, some behavioral patterns will change. You might not spend an hour
prepping before dinner to make sure that your hair is perfect, or your partner
might wear the same pants for two days in a row without worrying about what you
might think of their outfit. That’s totally normal, and really quite hilarious.
That said, closer comfort levels don’t mean that you should neglect your
personal hygiene, or let your living space fall into complete ruin. You know
they’re not going to judge you if you leave pizza boxes all over the floor, but
that doesn’t mean that you should. Try to keep things tidy and your appearance
a step or two above “slovenly,” and your partner will undoubtedly feel that
they’re worth making an effort for.
Share Some Hobbies, and Have Solo Pursuits as
Well
You might not share
your partner’s love of GAMES, and they may not be interested in your love of
foreign films, and you know what? That’s absolutely okay. While it’s great to
pursue some hobbies and interests together, it’s important to have your own
social groups and interests as well. Take cooking classes or swing dance
lessons together, hook up with friends to go to wine tasting nights, but then
split off for your individual pursuits: you’ll have fun things to talk about
when you meet up afterwards.
Admit When You’re Wrong (or When They’re
Right)
This may be difficult
for some people to do, but it really is important. If you discover that you’ve
been wrong about an issue/bit of information/whatnot, own up to it: you’ll gain
your partner’s appreciation and respect if you do, and if you don’t, you’re
just proving yourself to be an immature, arrogant jerk. Additionally, if you’ve
been discussing something and your partner turns out to be in the right,
acknowledge that fact: they may have been filled with self-doubt, and
acknowledging their awareness or knowledge may boost their self-esteem
exponentially.
Have Faith In Your Partner
Having trust and faith
in another person can be difficult, especially if you’ve been hurt by others in
the past. If you’ve been cheated on or otherwise betrayed by another partner,
you might worry that the same thing will happen in your current relationship,
and this may cause you to imagine things or accuse your partner without just
cause. If you find that your own insecurities are poisoning your Relationship,
talk it out with them and consider seeking therapy: they’re not the person who
hurt you, so please don’t assume that just because one person treated you
badly, everyone else will too.
Leave the Past In the Past
If you work through a
hardship together and come to a positive resolution, move past it and use the
experience as an opportunity to learn and grow. Don’t refer back to it during
arguments, don’t bring it up as a means of guilt-tripping your partner, and try
not to assume that just because something happened once, that it’ll happen
again. What’s passed is past, and rehashing old ugliness will just poison
future happiness. Let it go.
Mutual Goals are Important
It’s great to have a
goal or a project that you’re both working on together, as that can affect many
aspects of your life outside of your actual relationship. You could be working
on an art piece, saving up for a trip, building a cottage, or even working on a
garden. Determine your strengths for the project so you’re working in harmony,
and build something amazing that you can be proud of having achieved as a team.
Be Honest
Some people lie to their
partners for years out of fear of hurting or offending them, but that can lead
to a whole lot of ugliness on all sides. The one being lied to will know that
something is wrong, and the one lying may feel more and more frustration about
holding back and the relationship may end up suffering badly as a result. This
honesty doesn’t have to deal with outright lies, but rather personal interests
or preferences that may have changed over the years. Alternately, there could
be some serious issues that really should be dealt with, but are internalized
out of fear of hurting the other person. Ultimately, honesty really is the best
policy, and a strong couple will be able to work through just about anything
together.
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