Matters Of Dè Heart

WHAT CONSTITUTES MARRIAGE ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE? The Bible nowhere explicitly states at what point God considers a man and a woman to be married. Due to the Bible’s silence on this matter, identifying the precise moment a man and woman are married in God’s eyes is a complex undertaking.  Here are the three most common viewpoints:  1. God only considers a man and a woman married when they are legally married—that is, when they become husband and wife in the eyes of the law. 2. A man and a woman are married in God’s eyes when they have completed some kind of formal wedding ceremony involving covenantal vows.  3. God considers a man and a woman to be married at the moment they engage in sexual intercourse. Let’s look at each of the three views and evaluate the strengths and weaknesses of each. 1. God only considers a man and a woman married when they are legally married. The scriptural support typically given for this view is the command to obey the government’s laws (Roman...

WHY DID GOD ALLOW POLYGAMY / BIGAMY IN THE BIBLE? The question of polygamy is an interesting one in that most people today view polygamy as immoral while the Bible nowhere explicitly condemns it. The first instance of polygamy/bigamy in the Bible was that of Lamech in Genesis 4:19: “Lamech married two women.” Several prominent men in the Old Testament were polygamists. Abraham, Jacob, David, Solomon, and others all had multiple wives. Solomon had 700 wives and 300 concubines (essentially wives of a lower status), according to 1 Kings 11:3 . What are we to do with these instances of polygamy in the Old Testament?  There are three questions that need to be answered:  1) Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament?  2) How does God view polygamy today?  3) Why did it change? 1) Why did God allow polygamy in the Old Testament? The Bible does not specifically say why God allowed polygamy. As we speculate about God’s silence, there is at least one key factor to conside...

  I AM DIVORCED. CAN I REMARRY ACCORDING TO THE BIBLE? We often receive questions like “I am divorced for such and such a reason. Can I get remarried?” “I have been divorced twice—the first for adultery by my spouse, the second for incompatibility. I am dating a man who has been divorced three times—the first for incompatibility, the second for adultery on his part, the third for adultery on his wife’s part. Can we get married to each other?” Questions like these are very difficult to answer because the Bible does not go into great detail regarding the various scenarios for remarriage after a divorce. What we can know for sure is that it is God’s plan for a married couple to stay married as long as both spouses are alive ( Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6).  The only specific allowance for remarriage after a divorce is for adultery ( Matthew 19:9), and even this is debated among Christians. Another possibility is desertion—when an unbelieving spouse leaves a believing spouse ( 1 Cor...

HOW OFTEN SHOULD A MARRIED COUPLE HAVE SEX? The Bible doesn’t tell us how often a married couple should have sex; it does tell us that a couple is to abstain only when it is a mutual decision. First Corinthians 7:5 tells us, "Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." So, mutual consent is the "rule" for how often a married couple should have sex. The "rule" is that abstaining from sex must be agreed upon, and that even when it is agreed upon, it should only be for a short time . Sex should not be withheld or demanded. If one spouse does not want to have sex, the other spouse should agree to abstain. If one spouse wants to have sex, the other spouse should agree.  It is all a matter of compromise. We must remember that our bodies belong to our spouses, as 1 Corinthians 7:4 tells us, "T...

WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE? First of all, no matter what view one takes on the issue of divorce, it is important to remember Malachi 2:16, “I hate divorce, says the LORD God of Israel.” According to the Bible, marriage is a lifetime commitment. “So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate” (Matthew 19:6). God realizes, though, that, since marriages involve two sinful human beings, divorces are going to occur. In the Old Testament, He laid down some laws in order to protect the rights of divorcées, especially women ( Deuteronomy 24:1–4).  Jesus pointed out that these laws were given because of the hardness of people’s hearts, not because such laws were God’s desire (Matthew 19:8). The controversy over whether divorce and remarriage is allowed according to the Bible revolves primarily around Jesus’ words in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9 . The phrase “ except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Script...

WHAT DOES IT MEAN THAT HUSBANDS ARE TO LOVE THEIR WIVES? Ephesians 5:25–33 contains vital instructions for husbands in their relationship with their wives. Verse 25 gives the basic command: “Husbands, love your wives.” In case anyone wonders, the Greek word for “ love ” here is a form of agape. Husbands are to love their wives with God’s kind of love— selfless, sacrificial, and unconditional. For a husband to love his wife, he must truly desire what is best for her, and he must work for that best, regardless of the cost to himself. The standard by which husbands are to love their wives is stated outright, and it’s a high standard, indeed: “Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25).  The love of Christ took Him to the cross; the love of a husband for his wife will involve a similar giving of himself, even if the end result is not as bloody. Such is the nature of true love that it is willing to sacrifice for the loved one. Such is the nature of ma...

  WHAT IS A CHRISTIAN COUPLE ALLOWED TO DO IN SEX? The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral" (Hebrews 13:4). Scripture never says what a husband and wife are or are not allowed to do sexually. Husbands and wives are instructed, “ Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time ( 1 Corinthians 7:5a). This verse perhaps lays down the principle for sexual relations in marriage. Whatever is done, it should be mutually agreed upon. No one should be encouraged or coerced to do something he or she is uncomfortable with or thinks is wrong. If a husband and wife both agree that they want to try something (e.g., oral sex, different positions, sex toys, etc.), then the Bible does not give any reason why they cannot. There are a few things, though, that are never allowable sexually for a married couple. The practice of “swapping,” or "swinging/swingers," or ...

  DOES A WIFE HAVE TO SUBMIT TO HER HUSBAND? Submission is an important issue in relation to marriage. Here is the plain biblical command: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything” (Ephesians 5:22–24). Even before sin entered the world, there was still the principle of the headship of the husband (1 Timothy 2:13). Adam was created first, and Eve was created to be a "helper" for Adam (Genesis 2:18–20).  God has established several types of authority in the world: governments to enforce justice in society and provide protection; pastors to lead and feed the sheep of God; husbands to love and nurture their wives; and fathers to admonish their children. In each case, submission is required: citizen to government, flock to shepherd, wife to husb...

  WHAT IS THE DEFINITION OF MARRIAGE? On June 26, 2015, the United States Supreme Court issued a ruling legalizing gay marriage. Across the Atlantic, in mid-July 2013, the Queen of England signed into law “The Marriage Bill,” which allows same-sex couples to marry legally. Around the world, many nations have legalized marriage between same-sex partners. Obviously, the societal definition of marriage is changing. But is it the right of a government to redefine marriage, or has the definition of marriage already been set by a higher authority? In Genesis chapter 2, God declares it is not good for Adam (the first man) to live alone. All the animals are there, but none of them are a suitable partner for Adam. God, therefore, in a special act of creation, makes a woman. Just a few verses later, the woman is called “his wife” (Genesis 2:25).  Eden was the scene of the first marriage, ordained by God Himself. The author of Genesis then records the standard by which all future marri...

TRUE LIFE MORALS! 𝐋𝐄𝐓'𝐒 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐇 𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐓𝐇𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐀𝐓: 1. Fornication is not a norm. Even if it has become so so common, it is a great sin to God and a disservice to your body. ●2.Exposing sensitive parts of your body as a lady or dressing recklessly is not a big girl thing. It is foolishness and a sin in the sight of God. Wearing of mad people clothes is not called fashion. It is called indecency and it grieves God.  ●3. Virginity is not a sign of weakness or even sexual malfunction. It is a sign of purity - something to be proud of that you have not been desecrated by the unworthy and filthy. No one should make them feel foolish because of being a virgin.  ● 3. That VIRGINITY is a wedding present to your husband not a birthday present to boyfriends. Don't enter your matrimonial home perforated.  ●4.That Virginity should not be just about the sexual organs. The eyes, hands, legs and mind should be virgins too. If these parts get corrupted with immorality, s...

  WHAT DOES THE BIBLE SAY ABOUT INTERRACIAL MARRIAGE? * The Old Testament Law commanded the Israelites not to engage in interracial marriage ( * Deuteronomy 7:3–4 * ). However, the reason for this command was not skin color or ethnicity. Rather, it was religious. The reason God commanded against interracial marriage for the Jews was that people of other races were worshipers of false gods. The Israelites would be led astray from God if they intermarried with idol worshipers, pagans, or heathens. This is exactly what happened in Israel, according to  * Malachi 2:11 * A similar principle of spiritual purity is laid out in the New Testament, but it has nothing to do with race: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” ( * 2 Corinthians 6:14 * ). Just as the Israelites (believers in the one true God) were commanded not to marry idolaters, so Christians ( * believers in th...

Don't let your wife die on you too soon Must read for all men especially.... Your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties. You will need to know her to know when she needs to be fixed. When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells on Children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see. A real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happy. If you discover your wife is falling apart, watch out and fix the following: 1. CHECK IF YOU ARE THE PROBLEM   You might be her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Ask, let her talk sincerely 2. BE APPRECIATIVE Be mindful of her needs and appreciative of her sacrifices. The work a woman does at home can be too common that nobody will appreciate her for them, this can be killing her. Appreciate your wife 3. GET INVOLVED BEFORE SHE BURNS OUT Don’t just be appreciative, but ge...