THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE
EPISODE 1
22nd June 1989
6:30am
I woke up from sleep with a very terrible headache, while hunger and fear occupied the rest of my body.
Nnamdi who was lying by my side instantly coughed, startling me. I rubbed my eyes, got up from bed and smiled at little Winnie who was sleeping peaceful on her cot.
That fateful day was my 19th birthday, but instead of being the happiest day of my life, it brought great suspence, fear and sorrow with it. It was equally the last day Nnamdi, my boyfriend and little Winnie’s father gave me to pack out from his room.
Our relationship suddenly turned sour when i got pregnant for him. He never wanted me to keep the baby, but i refused to terminate it leaving him with no choice than to accept responsibility, when my parents threw me out of their house.
I was in SS3 when it happened, while he was just a struggling brick layer and a motor mechanic apprentice. We both were from poor backgrounds which truly worsened everything.
I was then left at his mercy, and out of frustration he never allowed a moment to pass without reminding me of the hardship i was causing him and how unlucky i was. Those were the moments i felt like killing myself.
I admit i made a terribly mistake by having unprotected se.x and getting pregnant for him, but harming my innocent baby was what i really couldn’t do.
I managed and struggled with determination until i gave birth to my little girl on 21st december 1988. Nnamdi on his part grudgingly supported me by providing the little he had which he never did without complaining, but the love and joy my little girl brought into my life sustained and gave me hope.
As soon as little Winnie was born, he gave me six months to leave his house. At first i thought it was one of his numerous careless comments, but as June slowly drew near, he began singing it almost everyday in my ears. Leaving me confused, demoralized and unhappy.
It really wasn’t as if he was spending much on us. I only ate twice daily while little Winnie survived on my br.east milk and few ‘Tins’ of baby milk concerned neighbours especially our land-lady do give us.
The previous day {21st June}, he almost strangled me simply because i begged him to allow us stay few more months with him. I had no money on me, nor family to seek because to them i was good as dead. Not even when i took little Winnie to them months after she was born did their mind change.
I murmured some prayers as i awaited my fate, wondering where to go, when he eventually wakes up and throws us out.
THIS IS JUST THE BEGINNING
THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE
Episode 2
Nnamdi soon woke up, ignored my greeting, washed his mouth and left the house without a word. I was terribly scared because of the way he looked at me. I knew it was just a matter of seconds before he kicks us out of his room. I sobbed quietly as I lamented my fate.
“My mates are all with their parents, enjoying their lives and planning for a brighter future. Here i’m suffering like a refugee” i reasoned with tears. “only if i had listened to him months ago and terminated my baby, i wouldn’t be suffering in this manner” i said to myself bitterly. But deep down in my heart i equally knew i rejected to do his bidding because i couldn’t bear such guilt which would have been terrible and unbearable.
Winnie’s loud cry soon calmed me. I quietly carried her, changed her napkin, breastfed and sang a lullaby for her. He came in that moment eyeing us.
“Have you packed all your things?” he asked coldly.
I swallowed hard and stared at him pleadingly.
“please don’t do this to us” i begged,“we are already managing well, i’ll start a trade very soon” i added.
He scratched his head uneasily and again eyed me murderously,“do you call this life eeh? Abeg shut up that your dirty mouth” he barked, before grabbing all my clothes which he dumped inside an old large bag, fetched Winnie's things and equally dumped them in it. “Here is two hundred and fifty Naira {#250} it’s your transport fare to your parents house, i have tried enough for you, i won’t kill myself doing it mtcheeew” he muttered and threw the money at me.
Tears instantly fell uncontrollably from my eyes, i had no where to go.
I was doomed, I dropped Winnie on the bed, knelt and begged him “please Nnamdi, please” i begged again and again, but instead of my pleas to calm him, it infuriated him tremendously. He slapped me hard,grabbed the bag and threw it out of his room.
“i will do the same to you and this baby if you don’t leave peacefully” he threatened.
I stared at him heartbroken, and hungry, cursing the day i granted him access to my body. The story of my love life with Nnamdi really is a long one. An affair which never should have happened in the first place had i ignored my heart, because he really had nothing to offer me, yet i foolishly fell in love with him. A very stupid teenage love affair which I now regret.
Love dosen’t work in an empty stomach, neither does it work in an unsecured environment.
Nnamdi wasn’t in love with me any longer because circumstances changed and he only saw me as a burden to his miserable life. He totally ignored Winnie's cries, my pleas and our neighbours preachings as he pushed us out of his house that fateful morning.
A day i was supposed to be happy because it was my birthday.
WATCH OUT FOR EPISODE 3
THE MISTAKE OF MY LIFE
EPISODE 3
"My dear stop crying and think ahead, crying over split milk dosen’t make any sense” our Landlady advised as she led me to her apartment.
“my life is useless i feel like dying” i weeped,
“my dear stop mocking God, he alone knows the reason he kept you alive, so don’t be ungrateful” she cautioned.
“i however think you should leave your bag with me, return to your family and see if they will accept you” she advised minutes later, after i had calmed down a little. I cleaned my eyes and stared at her with prayers in my lips.
“i pray they do, if not i’m stranded and doomed” i murmured with a broken spirit, knowing fully well the kind of parents i had. Only divine intervention could make them change their stand.
But I had no choice than to try my luck once again. I trekked from Igbariam to Nnaji-nwede street where my parents resided, carrying Winnie with me.
I couldn’t afford using public transport that fateful morning, because i needed to make good use of the little money i had. Mum was the only one at home when i got there, making me relax a bit as i rested in her shop which was just in front of the house. The fire in her eyes died as soon as she saw me, tears quickly formed in them as she stared at my weak body.
“Nne” was all she could mutter, while i swallowed hard with tears in my eyes. Other mothers would have reached out and carried their daughter’s child who equally was her grand daughter, but she didn’t, instead stared at us with pity.
Even though she never did support Dad’s harsh treatment towards me, she equally never condenmed it, perhaps because i had five other younger sisters, whom they needed to protect by using my punishment as a lesson and example to them.
“Mum help me please i have nowhere else to go, Nnamdi threw me out of his house this morning” i sobbed and knelt by her side with little Winnie in my arms. She breathed deeply, scratched her head and stared at the ceiling.
“have you eaten today?” i heard her ask.
“no Mum food isn’t my problem” i replied with tears.
“i have beans let me get some for you” she murmured, left her shop and went into the house to get a plate of beans for me.
She returned with it, dropped the plate on a small stool, and reluctantly carried little Winnie, so that i could to eat properly.
____
“please be quick with it, because you have to leave before your Dad shows up, i don’t want his problem today” she urged.
Her comment really broke my heart, but i was already used to such comments. I rushed up with my meal, washed my mouth and thanked her.
“now you can leave abeg” she murmured and gave me fifty naira,
“use it to buy akamu {pap} for your daughter” she added a bit coldly. I closed my eyes out of pain but tears refused to fall out.
“Mum i have no-where to go” i reminded her, but all she did was just to shrug.
“it’s non of my business you arn’t our responsibility anymore, if you have any case, do present it to your father please and not to me” she replied nervously.
Leaving me once again lost, confused and hopeless,“how can i face Dad when Mum is behaving like this” i wondered.
I had hoped with time that their cold behaviour towards me will reduce, but instead of reducing, it only increased.
“anwúómú ööö{i don die} here comes your Dad” Mum exclaimed as she sighted him from afar seconds later, instantly pushing me out of her shop.
I stood outside and waited for Dad defiantly, with a broken spirit and Winnie in my arms,“whatever will be, will eventually be, let it happen now” I said myself as i waited for him to finish me..
EPISODE 4 COMES UP SOON
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